My Halloween Party Surprise In 1986.
Believe it or Not, On Oct 30th, 1986, I was 22 years old and my friend Ted the butcher called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to a Halloween party with him.
And I said, “I am not sure Ted. My uncle just arrived from California and I don’t think it’s a good time to go out.”
Ted said, “Oh come on Ronnie we will have a great time, and there will be lots of women there.”
So I said, “Ok Ted. What should I come as?”
And Ted said, “Why don’t you come as a deer hunter.”
I said, “Ted I’m going to get too darn hot and sweaty dancing with the ladies wearing that one piece blaze orange insulated outfit.”
So Ted said, “Well then wear your camouflage fatigues and come as a bow hunter.” So I said, “Great idea Ted. I will be a lot cooler and more comfortable in that deer hunting outfit. So, what time should I pick you up?”
And Ted said “About 7:00 pm would be good.”
So I threw on my camo fatigues and took off down the road dressed as a deer hunter. I was going north on Pilgrim Road going about 45 or 50 mph when I hit a 21 point buck that was over 300 pounds just before the deer crossing sign. He jumped out of the bushes in front of me in my brand new Toyota Pickup Truck.
I hit the monster buck in the rear end so it’s but flew up in the air with the head and horns coming straight at my face. The horns scraped the hood of my truck up to the wind shied wipers and just missed my window and face.
So the buck basically cart wheeled over the top of my truck and landed in front of a Cadillac coming from the opposite direction. I glanced in my rear view mirror seeing the Cadillac roll over the beast in a bouncing motion. So I pulled off the road and immediately ran over to check to see if the passengers in the Caddie were ok.
I said to the older gentleman are you folks all right.
And he said stuttering, “My Cadillac, My, My Cadillac. It’s is only three days old."
So I said, “Boy I sure am sorry to hear that. I guess we both got some bad luck here because my pickup truck is only one month old.”
Then I noticed we were both in a very dangerous situation because his car and the deer behind him were blocking traffic at the bottom of the hill and we could get hit by another car in the 45 mph speed zone.
So I said, “You better get your car off the road and I will get the deer off the road.
So I dragged this 300 pound buck off the road next to the bicycle path. And boy was I out of breath.
Then to the west I saw this light blue fluorescent haze slowly zigzagging its way towards me out of the house at sunset. I thought what now a ghost. Then I saw that it was an older woman wearing a light blue nightgown with white facial cream on all over her face, and pink curlers in her hair.
She looked at the dead deer with disappointment and then looked at me in horror and blurted out, “Oh my God you killed him.”
I said, “What?”
She said, “You killed the deer that’s been feeding out of my bird feeder and bird bath.” She said, “That deer is so old it had to feed out of my bird feeder and bird bath because it’s hardly got any teeth left.”
I thought OH my God she thinks I killed her pet deer as I stood there in my Bow hunting outfit.
I said, “I am sorry. I didn’t try to kill it. I hit it with my truck and then they ran it over in their Cadillac. We have just been in a terrible accident here. Could you please call the police?”
So she took off across her yard for her house to call the authorities. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me.
Then I turned around to look at the deer and low and behold there were three small boys dressed as pirates next to the deer. And one of them was kneeling next to the deer and had a small jack knife out with a blade about one inch long. He was sticking the knife against the throat of the deer’s neck.
I looked down at him and said, “What on earth are you doing?”
He looked up at me with a black patch on his one eye and said, “I am trying to put him out of his misery.”
I said what? He said I am trying to kill it so it won’t suffer any more.”
I couldn’t believe it the deer was still alive. I said, “Put that knife away. That deer is in total shock. Let it die in peace.”
Just then an old man came up behind us and yelled, “Get away from it. Get away from it.”
And I turned around in complete shock to see an old man holding a large walking cane over his head like he was going to strike us.
I said, “What are you talking about?”
He said, “That buck could jump up and mall you all to death.”
I said, “What?”
He said, “In 1953 I shot a big buck up in Hayward, WI with my thirty odd six. And that deer was so smart he lead me on a wild goose chase around a pond and through a swamp. I was so tired after following its blood and tracks for several hours I leaned up against a tree to catch my breath. I thought it’s getting dark out and I know I am lost. When suddenly to my amazement that old buck came charging out of some bushes and tried to attack me with its horns. But I was quick with my gun and was able to blast him down before he gored me with his horns. To my amazement I found out that this old buck had led me back to my tree stand and tried to kill me where I had shot him.”
I said, “Excuse me Sir you can put that walking cane down now. You scared me and these pirates enough. If that deer gets up again after I hit it with my truck and the Cadillac ran it over we are all in big trouble here! You see it's got four broken legs and a broken chest cavity. So I think it’s not too likely to harm anyone.”
And so the old guy dropped his cane and calmed down.
Then I saw three young men walking and talking toward us. I heard them complaining about how they had a $500 running bet on who could kill that trophy buck first during the bow hunting season.
So when they reached us, I said, “I hate to tell you this guys but I hit that buck first and am waiting for the road kill tag.”
They said, “What!
I said, “I hit it first with my truck and am waiting for the road kill tag and then I am going to get it mounted and butchered. They looked at me in my deer hunting outfit in complete shock and their jaws fell in silence.
Just then a car pulled over to our side of the road when a young man jumped out of his car and ran over to the trophy buck and said, “Oh my God. I can’t believe it!”
I said, “What?”
He said, “I am going to win this year’s taxidermy prize at the Milwaukee Sportsman’s Show at Mecca!”
I said, “What?”
He said, “I am in taxidermy school now and am going to win some prizes with that trophy buck at this year’s Sports Man’s Show at Mecca.
I said wait just a minute there buddy. I hit him first and am waiting for the road kill tag.
He said what? I said you heard me. I am waiting for the road kill tag. He said I will get him butchered for you if I can have the head and antlers. I said forget it. I don’t need you I am on the way to pick up a butcher now. He said, How about me getting the skin tanned for you so you can hang it up on a wall in your home. I said forget it. Do you think I want the hide after it has been run over by a Cadillac? He said look I got a hack saw in the trunk of my car. If I could just cut them horns off, I could put them on a does head and accentuate the size of them there horns.
I said I am sorry buddy this is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me in my entire life. I just got to have it mounted so if you just give me your number I will I think about calling you for your taxidermy services. So he gave me his name and number and left me alone.
Now we had at least fourteen people waiting for the police to show up at the scene of the accident. We had me, the four old people in the Cadillac, the little old lady with pink curlers in her hair, the three little pirates, the old man with the walking stick, the three deer hunters, and the taxidermist, when we all heard a loud back firing Ford LTD come flying over the top of the hill to our left. I looked to the right and saw another car come over the top of the hill and there were the four old people in the Cadillac in the middle still blocking traffic in the LTD’s south bound lane.
I yelled at every one standing behind the Cadillac to get out of the way. I knew there was about to be another accident. I looked to the left and watched the back firing LTD swerve to the right side of his lane but then the driver must have seen all the people and the deer behind the Cadillac. So he swerved into the left lane to pass the Cadillac and hit the far right side of his ltd against the far left hand side of the rear end of the Cadillac. A chunk of the LTD about 1 foot by 1 foot flew up in the air on impact and now the LTD was heading straight for the car coming down the hill which was now swerving and braking to avoid a collision. Well fortunately the LTD missed the oncoming car but unfortunately they kept on going. So now there was a hit and run. The weird thing about it was the four dudes in the car looked like they were all long haired hippie dudes like Cheech and Chong. And as they passed us in their backfiring car they had the tunes cranked up and there was smoke coming out their windows.
A crowd of people grew to maybe thirty or forty people looking at the deer while we waited for the police to arrive. The interesting thing was all this happened in about 20 minutes. So I will never forget how quickly things can evolve or happen.
Then a Menominee Falls Police car arrived on the opposite side of the road and got out of his car with a megaphone. He said in a deep stern voice, “Would everyone in the accident please follow me down into the subdivision to get your accident reports. I said I am sorry officer. I can’t move my truck. And he said, “What is the matter, mechanical problems?” I said, “Oh no it’s worse than that! He said, what seems to be the problem. I said do you mind if I come over there and talk with you for a minute. He said, “Sure”. So I crossed the road to the officer and said, "Do you see those three dudes over there and that one dude standing alone." He said, "Yes." I said, “Sir it seems to me that the buck I hit is some real trophy! And those three guys are deer hunters who had a $500 running bet on who could shoot it first in this bow season. Now the other guy is getting his taxidermy license and wants to put it in the Milwaukee Sportsman’s Show at Mecca. So you see they all want that trophy buck. But I hit it first with my pickup truck and I want to get the road kill tag and the deer in my truck before I leave the scene of this accident.
He said, “Let me have a look at him son.” And so he pulled out his big black flash light and we walked over to the monster and He took one quick look at Him and said, “Congratulations son you got him!” Then he said something even more amazing, He said we are going to have to call in backup. So sure enough another squad arrived at the scene of the accidents and shined his search light on it while we filled out three accident reports in the subdivision. One report was for me hitting the deer. One was for them for them hitting the deer and one was for them getting hit and run by the hippie dudes in the black LTD. Then me and the two officers picked up the deer and loaded into my pickup truck.
Then the officers had me follow them down to the police station to get the road kill tag and so that the other officers, the office girls could get a look at the trophy buck.
When I got to my buddies place my friends they were playing sheep head. And they said, “What took you so long Ronnie. Were you in an accident”? And I said, “You will never believe it!” And then I told them this story as I have to hundreds of people in my life. And did they laugh. And in the end they nicknamed me Bullwinkle! So be careful what you wear at Halloween you never know what might happen.
By
Ronald A. Blumenthal
Another Two Big Bucks Almost Killed Me in Auto Accidents in 1996 and 2017.
About 10 years after the 1986 Halloween Deer Auto accident I told the same Halloween deer accident story to my parents friends at a bible study at their house to give their friends a good laugh. And I warned them to be careful of the deer driving home because it was early November when bucks are typically in rut in Wisconsin.
The next morning on my way to work, I unfortunately hit about a 16 or 17 pointer driving east bound on Capitol drive just coming out from underneath the HWY 41 Expressway bridge. This big buck ran out of the Curie Park Golf Course on to Capital drive and hit the right side of my car. He rolled over the hood of my car and almost went through my front windshield and crushed me!
But he just rolled off my cars hood onto the grassy medium and jumped back up on to his feet and ran across the opposite two west bound lanes of traffic and up the north bound HWY 41 ramp and then off into the woods along the Menominee River Parkway where there was a very old cemetery!
I was lucky I didn't get killed again.
On November 15th 2017 I was in a R&R Taxi Van on HWY 10 in Waupaca Wisconsin when a big buck jumped over the expressway center concrete wall and landed right in front of the middle of the R&R Taxi Van!
Both the cab driver and my airbags went off and we skidded to a safe stop in front of the Waupaca River Bridge! I found the big bucks broken antler under the windshield wiper blade just on the other side of the vans window in front of me. The driver and I were very fortunate we were not killed because the Van's front end was pushed half way up to our window!
Please drive carefully especially during the deer rut whether your in the country or city in Wisconsin because there are 18,000 thousand deer auto accidents per year here with about 550 people injured per year and about 10 deaths each year!
by
Ronald A. Blumenthal